Are you mental?!

So Bish, Jamie and Matty had a job interview thing in London and Matty was driving down for it. London Tom was providing accomodation in his home which is not in Essex and since I am pretty much  the life and soul of any group I came too.

Matty Smith loves his Citroen Berlingo and refuses to leave it unless completely neccessary. We had a short stop at a service station and he sat in his car for the half hour we played on the arcades.

Like every single trip I've been on the weather decided to get real and pissed it down, we got stuck behind about 30 trucks and couldn't see out of the windscreen.

So London Tom gets car sick and claims he gets shotgun because of his oversized vagina. Due to this he had choice of tunes so we were graced with a wall of white noise for most of the journey until Matty put some Jackson Five on and the whole backseat got stoked. Matty was not stoked.

We finally got to Tom's after a race/fight with some inbreds in a van then went to sleep.

Woke up canny early and Matty, Bish and Jamie did one to their interview.

Tom's Mum is pretty much the best cook ever and fed me until we left to go skating.
This was me half way through my 8 slices of bacon, 8 wheatabix and about 300 slices of toast. All in all, it was rad.

So we met up with Tom's mate Sam and went to Mile End. It's rad but extremely slippy and unlike every other park which is full of shit tweakers getting in the way, Mile End is home to pretty much the sickest skaters in LDN who are also coincedently the biggest dicks I've ever witnessed.

Matty Smith burst himself and ended up with a cartoon lump on his head and a girl dressed as Avril Lavigne made an effort to stop Adair from landing any tricks.

Since we don't know our way round London and London Tom is actually from Essex we had the help of a certain notorious slackster's unslack big brother. Ladies and Gentlemen, never before blogged on dD, Mr Stu Fone.

After a while of slipping on the extra smooth floor, getting snaked by people with trendy haircuts and sweating we left for £1 pizza.

We then got the tube to Central London because that's how we roll with our oysters and all that. We went to the London Bridge Plaza/Park. It is covered in bird shit and seems like it is was designed by Andy C because it has so many accidents waiting to happen.

Black Bish got unbelievably real and landed 360 flips then dropped bombs with this trick.

Then Adair and Matty decided to bomb around at 300 miles an hour getting in the way of the middle aged mexican guy who was trying to ollie up a curb.

We then got a bit emotional because it reminded us of Pidgeon shit ledge so we did one to another famous London spot. Here is Matty Smith some how managing to turn a frontside kiwi into a deadly trick on the same obstacle Nick Jensen of Fully Flared fame nollie cabbed.

He then beasted an ollie over the bench.

He then slipped trying to do a crook on the bin and fell into it and bent it down to the floor. Luckily the monster that is Matty Smith didn't quite manage to destroy a London skatespot so no fixed gear moustache wearing lads stabbed us. Matty did however get shanked off the bin.

This is Dave, he was on Team Babysnakes on KOTHM 09', if you don't remember who that team was it's probably because they didn't win anything. Dave kills it and got robbed on a front 180 over the bin because of the broken drain.

Sam is pretty much the most cheerful person in the world, can do nearly ever flatland trick ever and he enjoys Mrs Whittle's cooking more than anyone. He also managed to roll his ankle just before we were over it.

After the session we went to our mate Sam's party. We knew noone and sat in the corner on our own. Black Bish wanted to get real so bought every radge lass' drink.

After Bish had became a true Lambrini girl we got the bus to some ska club in Brixton. It was pretty rad and every other person had dreds. This man was an absalute session. This lass however was a proper doylum and did not realise that we were all on the edge of whiteying whenever she lent forwards.

We then met some grade A cunts who tried to rip us until Breakfast Bag Bish got real.

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This girl was also a session and was strangely called Kilroy, she however has no idea what people from Newcastle sound like and promptly got shut down after this poor impression.

We then left and got some straight up Brixton chicken which was dire. Then we all went to sleep.

I shall blog Day 2 and 3 later because I'm over it.